The Untold Stress of Weddings on Men

Everybody has heard of how stressful weddings are for brides- but less heard about are the parts that stress out the groom. You may think all that men getting married have to do is show up and enjoy the day, but there are several things that many men find stressful about their wedding day. From the perspective of Lee Cassidy, founder of My Wedding Group, here are some common stressors for grooms (and often brides) and how to avoid them.

 

Groomsman choices

 

Many men have a lot of guys they consider close mates, and this can make choosing groomsmen and best men difficult, especially if they’re restricted to a certain amount. If you have trouble deciding, order by the closeness of a friend or relative, length of the relationship, and involvement in each other’s lives. 

 

In-laws

 

Family situations are complicated at the best of times, and the merging of two families can be pure chaos. Set clear expectations of how you want them to behave and keep the peace where you can. By working as a team with your soon-to-be wife, you can set firm boundaries and feel supported no matter what madness each other’s family brings. 

 

Guest list

 

The guest list can soon get out of control at a wedding, so it's important to be firm and strategic when organising whom you want to invite. You may feel like the more the merrier, but some of that merriness is lost at $100 a head!

 

Money

 

A lot of men aren’t involved in the planning of weddings until their own wedding day, so it can come as a shock to find out how expensive everything can be. Make sure you and your fiancée go into the planning stage having a clear idea of how much you’re both willing to spend and work together to make that budget work. 

 

Day-of problems

 

A lot of brides like to do a lot of the planning themselves, whether it's because they like to have everything just so or because you feel completely out of your depth. The problem with this is that if anything goes wrong on the day of and the bride is off getting ready, people are going to turn to you for direction. It’s a good idea to nominate someone to be appraised of the run sheet, but also for you to be as well. It’s your wedding, you need to know what’s going on when wedding planning in Melbourne!

 

Emotional disconnection

 

There are a lot of differences in experience for brides and grooms when it comes to weddings and often the bride is the one who has the biggest expectations. It can be stressful when your partner is pulling her hair out over something you don’t see as a big deal! Being across your partner’s vision and what it means to them is a good way to make sure you can be there for them on the big day. You should also make sure you communicate how you’re feeling. It's good practice for the rest of your life! 

Commitment issues

 

A marriage is a huge commitment, one of the biggest- so it's not unusual to feel nervous about it before the wedding. If you are getting jitters, it's a good idea to have some notes accessible (or even your vows) that you can look at to remind yourself why you want to do this. 

 

Social anxiety

 

A lot of grooms have social anxiety and standing and speaking in front of so many people, talking to everyone, and being the centre of attention for the day can be incredibly stressful. Remember to take deep breaths, turn to your bride for support, and take breaks when you need them. 

 

Not knowing what's going on

 

Wedding planning can be so full-on, and if your fiancée is the one managing everything it's not unusual to have your life turned upside down every couple of days in the lead-up- with vendors showing up at your house, being told you’re going to a meeting the day of, or being contacted by people you’ve never heard of. Make sure you communicate to your bride the importance of being included and want to be across all the wedding appointments ahead of time. This is where a shared calendar comes in handy. For other planning tools to keep you working as a team you can visit https://weddings.melbourne/.

Relationship tension 

 

It's completely normal for the stress of wedding planning to place tension on your relationship. What is important is how you cope with it. Prioritising problem-solving, being there for your partner, and having compassion should be both your and your partner’s goals during and after conflict. Communication is key to working through problems rather than letting them fester.